Emotions

From this...

To This.. After almost 5 years of various callings in Primary and getting rather comfortable in life there, I got released and put into the YW's Presidency. If I had thought about it, I would have seen it coming. Those subtle signs were hitting me for a while. I have become a hermit because of the solidity of my life. Though not without it stresses, I have become accustomed to my patterns. I realized this a few months ago, but have been reluctant to change anything. I also have done a great job in reconnecting with FOUR of my past young women leaders whom I love to death. Anyway, I knew that Bryon was going to be released soon, and I was worried because as long as he was the YM president, I was sort of immune to any big callings. Now I didn't have that problem, so when the call came for the interview, I was hit with the "Oh Crap!" feeling on anticipation and fear.

I felt stressed at first combined with the excitement of being in YW's. It has always been a favorite of mine, mostly because of the leaders I had when I was a teenager. Certainly not because of the girls.

I of course was reluctant to leave primary. I have taught the same group of girls for 3 years now and adore them all. Also, I liked the fact that I didn't have to prepare too much for lessons. I could rely mostly on my own testimony and knowledge of the gospel to teach 10 year olds.

Yesterday I found myself humming YM's songs instead of primary songs as I was getting ready for church so I guess the subconscious transition was made. The sorrow didn't happen until my release was announced and one of my girls sitting in front of me turned around in shock with tears in her eyes. That opened the flood gate and I cried for most of the rest of the day.

That could have been due to the fact that parents kept coming up to me and saying how their daughters got emotional when I was released or how the primary president made me stand up in opening exercises and started crying, or how the chorister had the children sing my favorite song to me while I"'basked in the beauty of it". Or maybe it was the "only 15 more minutes with you as my teacher sister Buchmiller, only 7 more, only 3 more. No more time. I love you Sister Buchmiller!"

I couldn't gain control most of the day.

I think I will miss watching Bryon perform his duties as YM president almost as much as I will miss primary. I know it sounds so highschoolish, but I adored watching him bless the sacrament and guiding the boys in preparation. Every time I got to witness his sacrifice for those boys I couldn't help but sigh in admiration. How lucky I am that I get to keep him. He rocks!!!

I am torn with excitement and regret as I embark on this new chapter of my life and hope that I won't lose my mind in the process. Thanks Aprill for having the confidence in me that I was lacking.